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LOLOLOLOLOL
bitches be acting up smh lol
A Piece of My Mind
Nothing wrong with being fake at times. I usually always have this smile on my face from ear to ear. Lately I have been feeling so angry, drained and just plain beat down. I have lost my train of thought I have forgotten what is there to live for.. Why am I walking with the living when I should be laying with the dead? Why is it so wrong to not believe? Truth is I drink my own wine and eat my own bread. I feel this evil angry beast in me that I am losing control of. I have felt this thing ever since he walked out of my life. I have lingered in the past for so long that I am blind when it comes to the present and death when it comes to the future. I have held on to your memory for so long I am breathing but I am not alive. My life bounded by chains of sadness and my heart trapped in a box of sorrow. I want to let go but I can’t. I want to be grateful for what I have got and just let go of what I have already lost but this pain is too real and there is too much that not even time can erase. As each day goes by I hurt more and more. As each tear falls I fall more a part. You have destroyed all my childish dreams. You have left me with nothing but hopeless dreams. I wish my wounds would just heal.. But they can’t. Why can’t you be here to give me back what you have taken from me? Why can’t you sit by my side and wipe away my tears? I have told myself so many times that you are gone but it won’t seem to sink in. Can it be some people are just meant to live in the past. Each day I feel closer to my death. It is a homicide/suicide. I have committing a crime each and every single day and it is slowly killing myself. I miss the days where I could complain about my childish fears and you would be there to cradle me. You would be there to fight them off. I miss my family, my dreams and more importantly you. You were not only my grandfather but my heart, my friend and the man that held what I had (a family) as one. Now we are lost and I am bound to the life I use to have. I live in the past because that’s where you were and where my happiness was. Please tell me, why am I so angry all the time? Why can I not be happy? Give me a simple sign. What am I doing wrong? Did you know, do you know that I love you.. Always have and still do. I try so hard to hate you.. Just so I can move on but, I can’t. I just can’t. I wish you were reading this and I wish you’d feel the pain and feel the anger I do every single day. The pain I have been feeling for 10 years now. As each year passes by it doesn’t get easier. I wish you knew how broken things truly are without you. I wish you knew how broken my heart truly is.. Let me know you are listening please.
Seis ( We Can Live Like Jack and Sally )
When we first began dating you were the cherry of my eye.. The my arm and eye candy. I felt like the luckiest kid in HS.. A freshman bagged one of the hottest girls lol.. Now? You are the love of my life. The one I cannot see myself without.. My other half, my better half. The day you left me.. Was probably the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. The tears I cried that day.. How I begged for you back which I have yet not done to another woman.
First time I fell in love I was chewed up and tossed back.. I closed up after and wanted to never fall for another. I refused to even take the word and meaning of love serious. I tossed it around like a sack of potatoes. Reunited with you one winter afternoon.. Met the girl who had your heart at the time. I saw no love, there at least not from her. As soon as we hugged and our eyes met again I knew.. My feelings for you were most definitely still there. In time I confessed to you how I felt and well.. You know.
Baby, when I bring up the past and what we have been through it is not to torment you but so you can feel and realize what I have..
“Sometimes you have to go through the pain to experience the joy”
We have come so far and I’m not doing this alone. When I say I shall fight for us till’ the end I mean till’ death and beyond it baby. It has been 5 years and my love for you has only grown over time. I cannot offer you the world, this world but more than gladly offer you mine.
I wake up every morning with a smile because of you. I rush to my phone to see if I have any “I know you’re sleeping but.. Imy” messages. When I tell you that I love you I truly do mean it and I hope in time my actions, loyalty and honesty towards you may prove that <3
Cinco <3
Today is a special post for a reason.. She finally confessed to me her true feelings, my special someone said those 3 beautiful words, those 3 words that play over and over in my head and bless my ears and heart :) She told me “I love you” I cannot explain the feeling I felt hearing those 3 words. I had an instant rush of adrenaline over take my heart, mind and soul. It has never felt so right to hear or even say to someone.
I have had many girls in my life but this one girl walked into my life and stepped into the door to find her proper place in my heart and life.
“Hands over my head thinking ‘what else could go wrong?’ Would’ve stayed in bed, how can a day be so long? Never believed that things happen for a reason but how this turned out, you moved all my doubts, oh believe that for you I’ll do it all over again do it all over again. All I went through, led me to you so I’d do it all over again for you” - Bruno Mars
So much went wrong for us to finally get to where we are standing at this very moment but I do not regret a thing because now we are where we are at and our love is so strong. There are no distractions and we can see clearly into one another’s eyes with no road blocks. I love you as you love me and not a damn thing will change that <3
Fourth
Ahhhh so today my father bought me my My Touch 4G.. Face it Blackberrys were turning into Sidekicks and as I am sure we all know, Sidekicks were only hot for a while. The My Touch is like an iPhone for Tmobile, the apps are awesome phone graphics and all simply make me cum x_x <3
Tomorrow I am going to wake up at 6 a.m to head out to my baby’s crib. She promised to make me some breakfast and hopefully this time I can get to know her sister without being drowsy. FIrst time, we smoked and I was so tired. Second time I had cramps I wanted Advil my girl made me pop (which we assumed were expired;after) Midol. I was so fucking drowsy but it was still a very fun day. Regardless I simply cannot wait to be in her arms again I got her, her Christmas gift #2 I got her two gifts <3_<3 Made an hr long line for it, blaaaah <3 So worth it though.
Really do not have much more to say than enjoy your day whoever eventually reads this if no one, I D C :P Off to go and play with my new phone ;) Peace homies! <3
